Not Fit For Print

Los Angeles, Calif. inspires hatred for plenty of reasons, such as the traffic jams, the smog, the smug celebrities and plastic-surgery enhanced pretty people. 

But here’s the latest reason to hate L.A.: The Lakers, who aspire to Showtime greatness, have devolved into Thugtime, all in an attempt to show that they are tough and gritty. Like, say, the Celtics that whooped their butts for the title last year.

Earlier in the season, Lakers center Andrew Bynum purposely delivered an elbow drop to the chest of Bobcats forward Gerald Wallace, which was totally exposed at the time to pro wrestling moves because, um…he was flying to the rim for a lay-up. You know, actually playing basketball and stuff. For this sin, Wallace received a partially collapsed lung and a fractured rib.

The latest example of Thugtime came Monday night, as my beloved Portland Trailblazers were delivering a totally unexpected curb-stomping to the Lakers. Now, understand, Kobe Tyrant Bryant had promised that, because the Lakers had lost  their souls about a billion in a row in the Rose City, they were going to win in Portland this year. 

With the Blazers up by 20, Blazers guard Rudy Fernandez was on a breakaway dunk, and Trevor Ariza came from behind, allegedly in an attempt to block the shot. Instead he decapitated the Spainard, who fell hard to the ground, landing on his side. Rudy was carted from the court on a stretcher, will apparently miss some time, and be dropped from countless fantasy basketball rosters.

Now, some knuckleheads out there in cyberspace are saying that this is simply a hard foul. Don’t listen. They’re eedgits. This would have been unnecessary roughness even in pro football.

Ariza might have been going for the block, and heck, I was giving him praise earlier in the season as a hustle guy. But the play was ugly and it was destined to be ugly. He should have known better. He was way behind Rudy, and because of the angle he took, Rudy’s melon was in the way of the block.

The NBA needs to hold Ariza to a standard of strict liability here. His intent doesn’t matter. It was a dangerous play and ended up causing an injury to a player.

And No. 2,784 on the list of Why I hate L.A.? Laker players with lame neck tattoos. Yep, that’s you Ariza.   

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