Not Fit For Print

Yes, this is the fanboy edition of “Not Fit for Print.”

I saw “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” over the weekend, and I have to say, Roger Ebert’s review of the film is pretty spot-on. The film, while entertaining for my nephew, was pretty crummy, despite Hugh Jackman’s game effort and tons of action.

Ebert’s review of the hero in comic books, however, is ridiculous. Based on the film — which, as we’ve established, totally blows chunks unless you’re a 10-year-old dude — Ebert says that Wolverine sucks as a character, and that a poll naming Wolvie the best comic book character ever must have been rigged.

(I’d vote for Spiderman, but that’s besides the point.)

It was a bad movie. That’s it.

Ebert’s commentary would be like me saying, “Well, I saw the ‘Great Gatsby’ movie, so I know that’s one lame book.” Or judging “The Scarlet Letter” as a book based on the Demi Moore film.

Or like saying the movie version of “League of Extraordinary Gentlemen,” a true nightmare, proves that the comic book was horrible. Not true, of course.

“Wolverine” really was frustrating, because it ignored or paid lip service to some of the essense of the character. Lots of talk about how the protagonist needs to bring out the animal, but then the issue is ignored.

In many issues of the comic books, this was a central internal conflict. Is he in danger of becoming an animal? Or, if Wolverine is more effective a hero as a beserker, what does this mean for his value as a rational human being? And does his primal violence step over the line?

When the hero was taking true form, he was a sort of Dirty Harry anti-hero/heel who chased after his team leader’s girlfriend and came into conflicts with teammates for killing/maiming/dismembering/beheading enemies. Slight hyperbole, but you get the point. He was part hero, part necessary evil.

Unlike the movie version of “Iron Man,” which held charm because of the hero’s imperfections — rampant narcissism for starters — “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” presents a rather airbrushed version of the hero. And that’s a shame.

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